Hear What Oprah Winfrey Had To Say About Men

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is Don't stay because you think "it will get better".
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... Even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. .. There is nothing cute about baggage..
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. ..
Look for someone complimentary. ...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house..
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phill You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one.
They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts....
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare..

Six Steps to Enjoying Your True Wealth No Matter How Busy You Are

By Bo Sanchez

We were going to Hong Kong that day. I was going to preach for three days but had two extra days to be with my family. Picture us at the airport: My wife carrying our baby in her arms, my eldest son bouncing about like a rabbit and announcing to the whole world, "I'm going to Hong Kong Disneyland!" And the poor skinny father straining to push eight massive bags on a wobbly cart with a stubborn right wheel. (I've noticed that these deranged carts supernaturally end up with me wherever I go.)

That was when we heard the crying. Correction. Not crying. But spine-chilling, lung-busting screaming. Two kids were holding onto their mother. They were separated by four-foot tall steel bars. But to those distraught children, those steel bars represented two years of being without their mother---the contract of a domestic helper in Hong Kong. Four small arms clutching, grabbing, not letting go. The whole world heard their pleading scream, "Mommy, please don't go! Please don't go!" I'll never forget the mother's pained, tortured face---as though a knife was ripping through her body. My wife cried openly. I wept inside and held onto my kids more closely. That was two days ago. Yesterday, the story continued.

Those Small Arms Continue to Reach Out

Yesterday was Sunday. And I walked around Central. If you don't know Hong Kong, Central is where thousands upon thousands of Filipina Domestic Helpers congregate. They sit on sidewalks. They sit on overpasses. They sit by storefronts. I walked passed one woman who was reading a handwritten letter. The handwriting was obviously a child's penmanship. I walked passed another listening to a little cassette player, not to listen to music; but to a voice of a kid telling stories. But what broke my heart was the news given to me by Shirley, the head of one organization that tries to help them get financial education. I was shocked by what she said, "Brother Bo, out of our 700 members who are married, 80% are already separated from their husbands."

Families aren't designed for prolonged separation. They're not just made for that. We're supposed to spend time together.


6 Steps to Spending More Time with Your Family No Matter How Busy You Are

"Bo, why are you telling me this? I'm not in Hong Kong. I'm living with my family under one roof."

Listen. Yes, you're not in Hong Kong . But if you don't have time for your family, and your heart is not focused on them, you might as well be in another country. You could be physically present, but are you emotionally present as well? Let me share with you five important steps you could take to become more emotionally present with them?


Step #1: Be Close.

I'm still in Hong Kong as I write this piece. It's five in the morning as I type this article in bed. And my little family is literally around me because we're all sleeping on one bed. Yes, we've become one mass jumble of intertwined humanity---our limbs, legs and arms crisscrossing each other. And that's when I realize, gosh, I don't know how blessed I am. Why? Here I am with my family. I feel their skin. I smell their scents. We're so close, I feel their breath. And yet I'm surrounded by 148,000 domestic helpers here in Hong Kong that have been away from their families for months, for years, for decades. And for those who've separated....forever.

Let me say it again: We don't know how blessed we are. We complain that our families are nutty. But we don't understand how blessed we are to have them close enough to experience their nuttiness. We complain about our petty quarrels, our cold wars, our dysfunctionality.

But whose family isn't dysfunctional? I've talked to some people here in Hong Kong who would give anything to be with their families again---even for just one day of nuttiness. The first step is to be more emotionally present to your family is to actually be physically present to them. Be close! You need to know how precious your family is; and treat them that way. You need to see them as your true wealth; that nothing is more precious than your relationships.


Step #2: Be Deliberate.

Because you need to protect this treasure or they get stolen from you. No matter how busy I am, I schedule a weekly romantic date with my spouse. Yes, I actually write it down in my appointment book and treat it like a meeting with the President of the Philippines . These weekly nights are blocked off for the entire year. Nothing can touch it, except some dire emergency. Why? Because if my marriage fails, everything else stands to fail as well: My ministry, my businesses, my soul. So it is an emergency that I bring her out every week.

I also schedule a weekly date with my kids. I believe parents need to do these one-on-one dates with each of their kids. Unless of course you've got 18 children and may need to bring them out by two's or three's. Sometimes my son and I just walk around the village and talk. It doesn't have to be big. But swapping stories and opening our hearts to one another on a consistent basis is already very big to them. It means they matter to you; that you value them; and you'll see their self-esteem grow.


Step #3: Be Expressive.

I tell my wife "I love you" seven times a day. I hug my kids countless of times a day. At night, I tell my kids, "I'm so proud you're my son. I'm so proud I'm your Daddy. You're a genius. You're a loving boy. You're an incredibly gifted young man!" This is true. I have met 40-year olds who long to hear these words from their parents, "I'm proud of you," and feel an empty space like a gaping wound in their souls because their parents have never told them this. Don't do that to your kids. And before I forget: Praise your kids seven times a day. And praise your spouse seven times a day. I'm not kidding. It will revolutionize your marriage.

If I say, "Criticize your spouse seven times a day," I bet you'd say, "Kaunti naman. I do that already." But that's the problem. We don't realize that when we criticize our spouses, we actually destroy our marriage bit by bit; not just our spouses. But when you praise and honor your spouse, you build up your marriage. It can be very simple stuff:

"Ang sarap ng luto mo ngayon, Hon."
"I thank God He gave you to me."
"You're so hardworking."
"I love it when I see you play with the kids."
"You know how to make me happy."
"Ganda mo ngayon."

Keep on doing this and you'll see changes in your life and your marriage you thought were not possible.
Let me say it again: Praise your spouse, and your children, seven times a day.


Step #4: Be Deep.

Your weekly dates shouldn't just be watching movies, eating out and going home. Talk deep. Talk about your feelings. Enter into each other's worlds. Dive into each other's dreams, hurts, desires, worries, hopes and burdens. When you open yourself up to your spouse or your child, there are more chances for the other person to open up to you.


Step #5: Be Simple

Yesterday afternoon, I preached to 700 people in Hong Kong . I usually give my talks for 45 minutes. That's been my trademark. But yesterday, I gave a solid two-hour talk. Vein-popping, heart-pounding, passion-driven talk ? because I had a burden in my heart. Because I preached on Financial Literacy. I challenged them, "Raise your financial I.Q.!" I scolded them, "When you left the Philippines , you told your kids, 'Anak, two years of separation lang 'to. After two years, Mommy will have saved enough and will go home and we'll be together again.' But after two years, you go home and you haven't saved. Because you repainted the house. Because there's a new TV set in the living room and a new gas range in the kitchen. Because the kids have new designer rubber shoes. I taught them how to live simply and ruthlessly save 20% of their income. Because unless they do this, they will be forever trapped in Hong Kong. Look at your life. Are you living simply? Are you saving 20% of your income?



Step #6: Be Financially Intelligent

I also taught them where to invest. I told them, "It's not enough to just save. You need to know where to put your money. Because savings accounts at 1% and time deposits at 5% won't do. Inflation ? which is at 7% ? will simply eat them up." So I taught them about mutual funds and other investment vehicles, including the ability to sell something and get into business.

Here's the truth: The more you know about money, the less time you need to make money. So the more time you have for your
family. Actually, a time should come when you don't need to make money. Instead, you let money make money. And that
requires financial intelligence. Read. Attend seminars. Look for mentors.

Go Home.

After giving my talk, I took a deep breath and told my audience in Hong Kong , "When you follow these principles and have saved enough, please go home. Please go home to your children." I made a lot of people cry that day. I'm telling you the same thing.

Oh yes, you may be living with your family in one house, but it's possible that your heart is so far away from your spouse and kids and they are far away from you as well. You need to let your heart go home. Go home my friend. Your heart belongs there.

Our Parents

This was narrated by an IAF pilot to IIT students during a Seminar on Human Relations:

Venkatesh Balasubramaniam (who works for IIT) describes how his gesture of booking an air ticket for his father, his maiden flight, brought forth a rush of emotions and made him (Venkatesh) realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air.. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true.

Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young. It is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders. Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes.

Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too..

Take care of your parents. THEY ARE PRECIOUS

Dissolving the bitterness of life

Once a young man came to a revered teacher, who was seated under a tree near a beautiful lake, and asked for the solution for his unhappiness. After some minutes of conversation the old master kindly instructed the visitor to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink a few mouthfuls.

"How does it taste?" the teacher asked. "Awful," said the apprentice after he had spat out the revolting liquid a few paces away. The teacher chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the youngster swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man told him, "Now drink from the lake."

As the water dripped down the young man's chin, the master asked him again, "How does it taste?" "Good!" he replied. "Do you taste the salt?" asked the Master. "No," said the young man. The Master sat beside the troubled youth, took his hands, and said,

"The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the level of 'pain we taste' depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. Stop being a glass. Become a lake.

And you can become a lake when you broaden your outlook; when you stop looking only at yourself and your own miseries. Look at life as a whole and the many things without which you would not be what you are today - your friends, family, hobbies, nature around you.

When you are confronted with a problem, you see only the problem and ruminate over it endlessly which only makes the situation more tragic. Think of previous instances when things were better. Look at all the blessings that God has filled your life with about which you never give a thought.

Never compare yourself negatively with others. You are a unique person and if you have the faith, God will provide what you need. When you have a pain in your life, put it in front of GOD - then it will surely lessen. Do not put it in front of yourself - as you cannot see beyond it.

God is Infinite. Tap this source, with confidence.

The young man left, and his viewpoint on his problems had totally changed.

As the saying goes: Tell your problems how big your God Is.

Get Over a Break-up

1. Watch funny movies, read funny comics, chill and laugh around with your friends. Laughter as always is the best medicine. It always makes you feel better no matter what.

2. Get rid of whatever items that remind you of your partner. Numbers, messages, letters, gifts. If you can't bear to throw them away, put them with your close friend or someone you can't easily get to.

3. Start to concentrate on the negative aspects of your partner's character and tell yourself it is not worth it. This is mean but pretty effective.

4. Go dating. Meet new people. Make new friends. You might fall in love again so be sure to keep your distance. Moving on to someone else to get over someone is effective but not the ideal way to go about doing things. Please dont give anyone the heart break.

5. Write down all the hurts and angst inside you on a piece of paper and throw it away. Make the getting over tangible.

6. Don't be afraid to look up single friends you haven't seen or spoken to in a while. You'll stay busy on the weekend and maybe even rekindle an old friendship.

7. Go easy on the next person you meet. Don't project your open issues on the next unsuspecting soul. See the new person as a clean slate and allow the relationship to unfold with no connection to your past.

8. Apply what you've learned. What could you do better next time? What positive traits did your ex possess that you should look for in the next relationship, or maybe even incorporate into your own style.

9. Acknowledge that the day will come when you will get better. When you have the flu, you know it won't last forever. Think of this pain as a flu of the heart. It's going to get away too.

10. Take care of yourself physically. Get lots of rest but don't languish in bed. Exercise. Eat well and sensibly. This is not the time to junk out nor the time for stringent dieting.

11. Forgive your ex. Forgive yourself. Celebrate the good in the relationship ended but don't hold on to mementos from it. They can keep you stuck in the past. Honor what you had, then let it go. Burn, bury, throw out, or give away those memories. Accept that when something's over, its over!

12. Reaffirm yourself. You have value. Be gentle with yourself. Your life is well worth living. Anticipate a positive outcome and accentuate your positives. Learn from this experience and evaluate your own growth.