The Wonders of Forgiving

I found a new book and I'm excited to share it with you. It's Forgiveness Therapy by David Schell.

Here are some of my favorites:

1. Forgiveness means bending without breaking, being strong enough to withstand the heavy weight of injury but resilient enough to recover. Be forgiving.

2. Forgive yourself; for what you regret doing and for what you wish you had done, for not being fully yourself and for being only yourself.

3. Self-forgiveness cleanses the soul, washing away shame and guilt. Out of self-forgiveness comes the power to extend forgiveness to others.

4. You have the right to feel sad, betrayed, angry, resentful when you've been injured. Understand, accept and express your feelings. Pushing them below the surface only means they will erupt in another place, at another time.

5. Justice may right the wrongs, but forgiveness heals the hurt. Seek forgiveness beyond justice.

6. Sometimes people hurt you because, like you, they are learning and growing. Forgive their incompleteness, their humanness.

7. To refuse to forgive is to continue to hurt yourself. Victimized once, your lack of forgiveness keeps you stuck as a victim, holding on to a victim's identity. Instead, claim the identity of one who forgives.

8. No loving relationship is free of hurts. Bind up the wounds of love with forgiveness.

9. When you are having a difficult time forgiving, recall a moment when you wanted to be forgiven. Offer the other person what you wanted to receive.

10. Forgiveness takes practice. Start with small hurts and work your way up to the big ones.

11. Forgiveness may seem futile when you see no immediate results. But healing and growth are like fine aged cheese -- not instant mashed potatoes. Give forgiveness time.

12. You cannot change someone for the better by holding a grudge. Grudges only change you -- for the worse.

13. When someone won't forgive you, refusing to forgive in return is no answer. That's like wrapping yourself in the other's chains. Keep yourself free; forgive.

14. To help you forgive, picture the other person surrounded by the light of God. See yourself stepping into that same light, and feel God's presence with you both.

15. Forgiveness is not something you do for someone else; it is something you do for yourself. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness.


Sometimes, when we have been wronged, bruised, angered or betrayed, it is difficult to forgive. It is easier said than done. But too much anger and resentment makes it hard for us to move on. All that pain we refuse to let go will bury us in a place we shouldn't get stuck in. After the hurt and anger should come healing, and healing can only take place if we allow ourselves to forgive.

We should pray that God gives us the grace to forgive. Ask Him to give us a heart big enough to be humble. Once we choose to forgive, then and only then can we heal, then and only then can we free ourselves of the burden of our wounds.

Free yourself! Forgive. Allow God's love to thaw your heart!